We all know Mark Twain for his books and his quotes, his wisdom for life is something that should be read often and followed. I saw this posting on FaceBook and felt compelled to share. You may see the original post by click the above picture. Read the 9 Tips and decide if they can be applied to your life, which ones you need to work on and which ones you are following.
“It’s no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.”
“Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.”
“When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old.”
You may know Mark Twain for some of his very popular books like Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and The Adventures of Tom Sawyer. He was a writer and also a humorist, satirist and lecturer.
Twain is known for his many – and often funny – quotes. Here are a few of my favourite tips from him.
1. Approve of yourself.
“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”
If you don’t approve of yourself, of your behaviour and actions then you’ll probably walk around most of the day with a sort of uncomfortable feeling. If you, on the other hand, approve of yourself then you tend to become relaxed and gain inner freedom to do more of what you really want.
This can, in a related way, be a big obstacle in personal growth. You may have all the right tools to grow in some way but you feel an inner resistance. You can’t get there.
What you may be bumping into there are success barriers. You are putting up barriers in your own mind of what you may or may not deserve. Or barriers that tell you what you are capable of. They might tell you that you aren’t really that kind of person that could this thing that you’re attempting.
Or if you make some headway in the direction you want to go you may start to sabotage for yourself. To keep yourself in a place that is familiar for you.
So you need give yourself approval and allow yourself to be who you want to be. Not look for the approval from others. But from yourself. To dissolve that inner barrier or let go of that self-sabotaging tendency. This is no easy task and it can take time.
2. Your limitations may just be in your mind.
“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”
So many limitations are mostly in our minds. We may for instance think that people will disapprove because we are too tall, too old or balding. But these things mostly matter when you think they matter. Because you become self-conscious and worried about what people may think.
And people pick up on that and may react in negative ways. Or you may interpret anything they do as a negative reaction because you are so fearful of a bad reaction and so focused inward on yourself.
If you, on the other hand, don’t mind then people tend to not mind that much either. And if you don’t mind then you won’t let that part of yourself become a self-imposed roadblock in your life.
It is, for instance, seldom too late to do what you want to do.
3. Lighten up and have some fun.
“Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.”
“Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.”
Humor and laughter are amazing tools. They can turn any serious situation into something to laugh about. They can lighten the mood just about anywhere.
And a lighter mood is often a better space to work in because now your body and mind isn’t filled to the brim with negative emotions. When you are more light-hearted and relaxed then the solution to a situation is often easier to both come up with and implement. Have a look at Lighten Up! for more on this topic.
4. Let go of anger.
“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”
Anger is most of the time pretty pointless. It can cause situations to get out of hand. And from a selfish perspective it often more hurtful for the one being angry then the person s/he’s angry at.
So even if you feel angry at someone for days recognize that you are mostly just hurting yourself. The other person may not even be aware that you are angry at him or her. So either talking to the person and resolving the conflict or letting go of anger as quickly as possible are pretty good tips to make your life more pleasurable.
5. Release yourself from entitlement.
“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”
When you are young your mom and dad may give a lot of things. As you grow older you may have a sort of entitlement. You may feel like the world should just give you what you want or that it owes you something.
This belief can cause a lot of anger and frustration in your life. Because the world may not give you what expect it to. On the other hand, this can be liberating too. You realize that it is up to you to shape your own life and for you to work towards what you want. You are not a kid anymore, waiting for your parents or the world to give you something.
You are in the driver’s seat now. And you can go pretty much wherever you want.
6. If you’re taking a different path, prepare for reactions.
“A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.”
I think this has quite a bit of relevance to self-improvement.
If you start to change or do something different than you usually do then people may react in different ways. Some may be happy for you. Some may be indifferent. Some may be puzzled or react in negative and discouraging ways.
Much of these reactions are probably not so much about you but about the person who said it and his/her life. How they feel about themselves is coming through in the words they use and judgements they make.
And that’s OK. I think it’s pretty likely that they won’t react as negatively as you may imagine. Or they will probably at least go back to focusing on their own challenges pretty soon.
So what other people may say and think and letting that hold you back is probably just fantasy and barrier you build in your mind.
You may find that when you finally cross that inner threshold you created then people around you may not shun you or go chasing after you with pitchforks. They might just go: “OK”.
7. Keep your focus steadily on what you want.
“Drag your thoughts away from your troubles… by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.”
What you focus your mind on greatly determines how things play out. You can focus on your problems and dwell in suffering and a victim mentality. Or you can focus on the positive in situation, what you can learn from that situation or just focus your mind on something entirely else.
It may be “normal” to dwell on problems and swim around in a sea of negativity. But that is a choice. And a thought habit. You may reflexively start to dwell on problems instead of refocusing your mind on something more useful. But you can also start to build a habit of learning to gain more and more control of where you put your focus.
8. Don’t focus so much on making yourself feel good.
“The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.”
This may be a bit of a counter-intuitive tip. But as I wrote yesterday, one of the best ways to feel good about yourself is to make someone else feel good or to help them in some way.
This is a great way to look at things to create an upward spiral of positivity and exchange of value between people. You help someone and both of you feel good. The person you helped feels inclined to give you a hand later on since people tend to want to reciprocate. And so the both of you are feeling good and helping each other.
Those positive feelings are contagious to other people and so you may end up making them feel good too. And the help you received from your friend may inspire you to go and help another friend. And so the upward spiral grows and continues.
9. Do what you want to do.
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did so. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
Awesome quote. And I really don’t have much to add to that one. Well, maybe to write it down and keep it as a daily reminder – on your fridge or bathroom door – of what you can actually do with your life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My Comments:
1. Approve of yourself. It has taken me a very long time, but I am finally here. I am the only me I have and if you don't like me, walk away.
2. Your limitations may just be in your mind. Another one that has taken me a while. When I finally realized (after having it drilled into me over and over and over) that I could do anything I set my mind to do, I felt free. My mother demonstrated this daily, yet I always felt I wasn't able to do what I really wanted to do because I wasn't good enough.
3. Lighten up and have some fun. When I was in grad school, my major professor and mentor told us, "We work hard and then we play hard." That was some of the best advice I have ever had and Twain agrees. When life seems too overwhelming is just the point where you need to let go and have fun. Shake out the bad stuff…let it go, then get serious … you will be able to continue and do a great job.
4. Let go of anger. This is the most difficult one for me. Anger was such a part of my life for so long, I felt undressed unless I had a good mad on for some reason. Finally, I came to the realization that the anger owned me and I didn't want that to be my life. I gave it up…let it go…and said I was better than what ever the anger was that had me in its grip. Since then, my life has been happy and there is no room for anger.
5. Release yourself from entitlement. Thank goodness I was raised with the belief that no one owed me a thing. If I wanted something I had to work hard to get it. Sometimes over the years, I had to work longer and harder than I ever expected, but I have earned everything I own … no one gave me a thing.
6. If you’re taking a different path, prepare for reactions. Growing up I was always afraid of disappointing people I loved and who were special in my life. Because of this, I didn't do some things I would have otherwise done. Now that I have a few miles on my life, I do what I want, and if people don't like it, they don't have to watch or stay around.
7. Keep your focus steadily on what you want. Several years ago when I was going through a particularly rough time in my life, a friend asked me, "What do you see yourself doing five years from now?" I didn't have a clue and told him so. At that point in my life I wasn't sure there would be a me in five years. I weathered that storm much the wiser for what I experienced, now I have so many things I want to do and be five years from now there are not enough hours in the day to get everything accomplished … it may just take ten years!
8. Don’t focus so much on making yourself feel good. In letting go of anger, and taking time to play hard, I realized that I always felt better when I made someone else feel good. For nearly three years I have been on Twitter (yes, I am addicted…yes, I might need an intervention). That being said, my main focus for this social media outlet is to try to make at least one person smile every day, and in doing so I have developed some amazing friendships and over 4100 followers. I provide inspirational quotes, pictures, write my own micropoetry and sometimes get a little to politically involved. Certain friendships have been mentors to lead me back into writing and continue that part of the journey I call my life…my Writing Life.
9. Do what you want to do. I am newly retired and this tip is one I live by daily. People who couldn't believe I would retire at my age ask me all the time, "What do you do all day?" My response is always the same, "Exactly what I want to do!" I am relishing being able to live this tip to the fullest!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, on this day after Christmas 2013, I plan to take these 9 tips to heart. Work on those that are not easy for me and continue to nourish those that I am currently following. I also might just need to reread Mark Twain's books. I found this quote today about rereading the classics and I believe it is true.
"When you reread the classics you do not see more in the book than when you did before; you see more in you than there was before." ~ Clifton Fadiman ~
The beauty of retirement and being able to live Tip #9 to the fullest, is that I am always learning. My current passion is to learn everything I can about writing … writing fiction, writing prose, writing poetry … and more writing. Blogging is a big part of my learning curve and I have learned so much in that arena in the past year. But…to be able to be a better writer, you must Read, Read, Read…and the first time in my life I can read to my heart's content without someone telling me it is time to put the book away!
Copyright © 2013 Annie – Personal comments, introduction and conclusion
Always…I wish you peace, joy and happiness, but most of all I wish you Love.
As Ever, Annie
“It’s no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.”
“Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.”
“When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old.”
You may know Mark Twain for some of his very popular books like Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and The Adventures of Tom Sawyer. He was a writer and also a humorist, satirist and lecturer.
Twain is known for his many – and often funny – quotes. Here are a few of my favourite tips from him.
1. Approve of yourself.
“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”
If you don’t approve of yourself, of your behaviour and actions then you’ll probably walk around most of the day with a sort of uncomfortable feeling. If you, on the other hand, approve of yourself then you tend to become relaxed and gain inner freedom to do more of what you really want.
This can, in a related way, be a big obstacle in personal growth. You may have all the right tools to grow in some way but you feel an inner resistance. You can’t get there.
What you may be bumping into there are success barriers. You are putting up barriers in your own mind of what you may or may not deserve. Or barriers that tell you what you are capable of. They might tell you that you aren’t really that kind of person that could this thing that you’re attempting.
Or if you make some headway in the direction you want to go you may start to sabotage for yourself. To keep yourself in a place that is familiar for you.
So you need give yourself approval and allow yourself to be who you want to be. Not look for the approval from others. But from yourself. To dissolve that inner barrier or let go of that self-sabotaging tendency. This is no easy task and it can take time.
2. Your limitations may just be in your mind.
“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”
So many limitations are mostly in our minds. We may for instance think that people will disapprove because we are too tall, too old or balding. But these things mostly matter when you think they matter. Because you become self-conscious and worried about what people may think.
And people pick up on that and may react in negative ways. Or you may interpret anything they do as a negative reaction because you are so fearful of a bad reaction and so focused inward on yourself.
If you, on the other hand, don’t mind then people tend to not mind that much either. And if you don’t mind then you won’t let that part of yourself become a self-imposed roadblock in your life.
It is, for instance, seldom too late to do what you want to do.
3. Lighten up and have some fun.
“Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.”
“Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.”
Humor and laughter are amazing tools. They can turn any serious situation into something to laugh about. They can lighten the mood just about anywhere.
And a lighter mood is often a better space to work in because now your body and mind isn’t filled to the brim with negative emotions. When you are more light-hearted and relaxed then the solution to a situation is often easier to both come up with and implement. Have a look at Lighten Up! for more on this topic.
4. Let go of anger.
“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”
Anger is most of the time pretty pointless. It can cause situations to get out of hand. And from a selfish perspective it often more hurtful for the one being angry then the person s/he’s angry at.
So even if you feel angry at someone for days recognize that you are mostly just hurting yourself. The other person may not even be aware that you are angry at him or her. So either talking to the person and resolving the conflict or letting go of anger as quickly as possible are pretty good tips to make your life more pleasurable.
5. Release yourself from entitlement.
“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”
When you are young your mom and dad may give a lot of things. As you grow older you may have a sort of entitlement. You may feel like the world should just give you what you want or that it owes you something.
This belief can cause a lot of anger and frustration in your life. Because the world may not give you what expect it to. On the other hand, this can be liberating too. You realize that it is up to you to shape your own life and for you to work towards what you want. You are not a kid anymore, waiting for your parents or the world to give you something.
You are in the driver’s seat now. And you can go pretty much wherever you want.
6. If you’re taking a different path, prepare for reactions.
“A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.”
I think this has quite a bit of relevance to self-improvement.
If you start to change or do something different than you usually do then people may react in different ways. Some may be happy for you. Some may be indifferent. Some may be puzzled or react in negative and discouraging ways.
Much of these reactions are probably not so much about you but about the person who said it and his/her life. How they feel about themselves is coming through in the words they use and judgements they make.
And that’s OK. I think it’s pretty likely that they won’t react as negatively as you may imagine. Or they will probably at least go back to focusing on their own challenges pretty soon.
So what other people may say and think and letting that hold you back is probably just fantasy and barrier you build in your mind.
You may find that when you finally cross that inner threshold you created then people around you may not shun you or go chasing after you with pitchforks. They might just go: “OK”.
7. Keep your focus steadily on what you want.
“Drag your thoughts away from your troubles… by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.”
What you focus your mind on greatly determines how things play out. You can focus on your problems and dwell in suffering and a victim mentality. Or you can focus on the positive in situation, what you can learn from that situation or just focus your mind on something entirely else.
It may be “normal” to dwell on problems and swim around in a sea of negativity. But that is a choice. And a thought habit. You may reflexively start to dwell on problems instead of refocusing your mind on something more useful. But you can also start to build a habit of learning to gain more and more control of where you put your focus.
8. Don’t focus so much on making yourself feel good.
“The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.”
This may be a bit of a counter-intuitive tip. But as I wrote yesterday, one of the best ways to feel good about yourself is to make someone else feel good or to help them in some way.
This is a great way to look at things to create an upward spiral of positivity and exchange of value between people. You help someone and both of you feel good. The person you helped feels inclined to give you a hand later on since people tend to want to reciprocate. And so the both of you are feeling good and helping each other.
Those positive feelings are contagious to other people and so you may end up making them feel good too. And the help you received from your friend may inspire you to go and help another friend. And so the upward spiral grows and continues.
9. Do what you want to do.
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did so. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
Awesome quote. And I really don’t have much to add to that one. Well, maybe to write it down and keep it as a daily reminder – on your fridge or bathroom door – of what you can actually do with your life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My Comments:
1. Approve of yourself. It has taken me a very long time, but I am finally here. I am the only me I have and if you don't like me, walk away.
2. Your limitations may just be in your mind. Another one that has taken me a while. When I finally realized (after having it drilled into me over and over and over) that I could do anything I set my mind to do, I felt free. My mother demonstrated this daily, yet I always felt I wasn't able to do what I really wanted to do because I wasn't good enough.
3. Lighten up and have some fun. When I was in grad school, my major professor and mentor told us, "We work hard and then we play hard." That was some of the best advice I have ever had and Twain agrees. When life seems too overwhelming is just the point where you need to let go and have fun. Shake out the bad stuff…let it go, then get serious … you will be able to continue and do a great job.
4. Let go of anger. This is the most difficult one for me. Anger was such a part of my life for so long, I felt undressed unless I had a good mad on for some reason. Finally, I came to the realization that the anger owned me and I didn't want that to be my life. I gave it up…let it go…and said I was better than what ever the anger was that had me in its grip. Since then, my life has been happy and there is no room for anger.
5. Release yourself from entitlement. Thank goodness I was raised with the belief that no one owed me a thing. If I wanted something I had to work hard to get it. Sometimes over the years, I had to work longer and harder than I ever expected, but I have earned everything I own … no one gave me a thing.
6. If you’re taking a different path, prepare for reactions. Growing up I was always afraid of disappointing people I loved and who were special in my life. Because of this, I didn't do some things I would have otherwise done. Now that I have a few miles on my life, I do what I want, and if people don't like it, they don't have to watch or stay around.
7. Keep your focus steadily on what you want. Several years ago when I was going through a particularly rough time in my life, a friend asked me, "What do you see yourself doing five years from now?" I didn't have a clue and told him so. At that point in my life I wasn't sure there would be a me in five years. I weathered that storm much the wiser for what I experienced, now I have so many things I want to do and be five years from now there are not enough hours in the day to get everything accomplished … it may just take ten years!
8. Don’t focus so much on making yourself feel good. In letting go of anger, and taking time to play hard, I realized that I always felt better when I made someone else feel good. For nearly three years I have been on Twitter (yes, I am addicted…yes, I might need an intervention). That being said, my main focus for this social media outlet is to try to make at least one person smile every day, and in doing so I have developed some amazing friendships and over 4100 followers. I provide inspirational quotes, pictures, write my own micropoetry and sometimes get a little to politically involved. Certain friendships have been mentors to lead me back into writing and continue that part of the journey I call my life…my Writing Life.
9. Do what you want to do. I am newly retired and this tip is one I live by daily. People who couldn't believe I would retire at my age ask me all the time, "What do you do all day?" My response is always the same, "Exactly what I want to do!" I am relishing being able to live this tip to the fullest!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, on this day after Christmas 2013, I plan to take these 9 tips to heart. Work on those that are not easy for me and continue to nourish those that I am currently following. I also might just need to reread Mark Twain's books. I found this quote today about rereading the classics and I believe it is true.
"When you reread the classics you do not see more in the book than when you did before; you see more in you than there was before." ~ Clifton Fadiman ~
The beauty of retirement and being able to live Tip #9 to the fullest, is that I am always learning. My current passion is to learn everything I can about writing … writing fiction, writing prose, writing poetry … and more writing. Blogging is a big part of my learning curve and I have learned so much in that arena in the past year. But…to be able to be a better writer, you must Read, Read, Read…and the first time in my life I can read to my heart's content without someone telling me it is time to put the book away!
Copyright © 2013 Annie – Personal comments, introduction and conclusion
Always…I wish you peace, joy and happiness, but most of all I wish you Love.
As Ever, Annie